Tuesday, April 9, 2013

So tired

I don't know what's wrong with me. I am so tired. Can't seem to do anything. I have no strength. I get worn out so fast. And I have SO darn much to do. I think I'm depressed. I cry at the smallest things. I get upset all the time. I am just so tired. I lay in bed at night, thinking of all the things I need to do. I can't sleep. I have to get up and take a sleeping pill. Then I have to get up at 6 am to get my grand daughter on the bus. It's getting daylight again now, so I stay up.

Already today, the sheep were outside the electric fence. In the rock garden. I was on my way down the driveway to plant some flowers under my farm sign when I saw them. They must have just gotten out so hadn't done much yet. The little piece of field fence was down. SO I ran and got some feed and got them back in the sheep yard. Then had to fix the boundary fence to get them over next door for a few days. The grass in that yard in nice and pretty tall and so green now.

I was going to mow along that fence so the sheep wouldn't be tempted to go under. But  the grass is so tall, the mower keeps shutting off. And it wears me out to have to crank it up every few minutes.

But earlier this morning, I tried the new milking machine on Zarah. I had put her kids up last night so I could milk her. I could not get ANY suction. Nothing. I tried the bigger machine on Penelope. No suction on that one either. So had to hand milk them both. I got so upset and just cried buckets. I feel so useless. I know it's something simple that if my husband were here, he could get it going. It just makes me mad. And I cry some more. Poor me.

I did make some farmer's cheese for a farmer's get together and seed swap tonight. I want to go so bad. But it starts at 5 and goes til 9. Right in the middle of milking and feeding times. Aren't these farmer's too? Don't they have evening chores to do too?

And now my camera is not working. Something about the lens. I should know not to carry it in my pocket all the time. And I just got it not long ago.

I think I'll go back to bed now.


10 comments:

Kristin said...

Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry you're having a rough time. Aren't there simply things that just take a guy? And that guy is off working and so you expend 4x the energy trying to fix it yourself.

I know misery doesn't like company. You're doing a great job. You're my farming hero! I just want to let you know that we all go through these "nothing is working, and I have so much to do that I'll never get it done" times.

Here are some great big cyber hugs from my keyboard to your screen.

And 5-9, what are they thinking? Do they have help or are they just wannabe farmers. Here's to milking in the dark....

Kris said...

Thank you, Kristin! I think it's the pollen. I went out to pick some collard greens and they were yellow with pollen. Chattanooga is the 3rd worse place for pollen. It's really making me sick and I am taking Alegra but it's not working.

An At Home Daughter said...

Hi Kris,
It sound like you need magnesium bad.
I have the same problem if I don't take it. I become extremely tired, have no strength, can't sleep good, get muscle cramps, and can't handle anything without getting upset.

It takes a while for it to start working. At least two weeks to get a real good response. But it is very calming, makes you sleep well, and when your getting good sleep then you need less sleep. Its best to take before bed, and must be combined with the right minerals (calcium and such) for it to work. You would have to ask someone at a vitamin store which ones, because I can't remember. But you could also take a epsom salt bath. Its a type of magnesium you absorb through the skin. Funny I was actually going on the internet to look up how to make it into a spray. I heard recently that it absorbs really good that way, and you just spray it on your thighs.

A B-complex will also help with energy.

Hope you will be feeling better soon. It really sucks when multiple things are going wrong, and you don't feel good.

Kimberly

Linda said...

I am always at a loss for what to say at times like this. But I feel for you and understand what you are saying... here is my cyber hug too! {{{hug}}}

An At Home Daughter said...

I forgot. A spoon full of molasses a day, doesn't hurt either ; )

Kimberly

Kris said...

Kimberly, that does sound like me right now. I cry over the stupidest things now. And just feel exhausted all the time. I just don't seem to care or want to do anything right now. And knowing I have SO much to do and certain deadlines I have to meet, it makes it worse. And I am just 1 person. I have to realize that.

I will look into those things you mentioned. It sounds like what I give my goats! Maybe I should just lick some of their minerals and take a B complex shot?

Thanks for all the suggestions. I am going to town today so will get the magnesium and B complex. I hope there is something that's in one pill. I hate taking pills or capsules. But I will if it'll make me feel better. And I do have some fresh local made molasses I just got from the farmer's market a few weeks ago. Now this does sound like what I do for my goats.

Kris said...

Thank you, Linda! I really hate to talk about how I am doing, but it helps when others know what I am going through. And then I get good advice and cyber hugs! Makes it all better then. Thanks so much. I feel like you all understand anyway.

Woman Seeking Center said...

Sending you {{{HUGS}}} !

Another couple of things to check (maybe) or (maybe not) lol are thyroid and/or hormone levels ~ just to see if either of those may be the cause of the tiredness and/or rollercoaster emotions.

And sometimes life is just damn overwhelming - especially when you need to handle many things alone when hubs is away. So maybe it's an everything 'catching up' in a cumulative kinda way?

Whatever you do/check/try I sure hope you feel better - been where you are, feeling what you feel and it's not fun or nice.

Hang in there ....

Issy

Kris said...

Issy, I have had to go to a thyroid specialist the past several years to measure my thyroid. But the last time I went, he said he shouldn't have to see me again for awhile. I went to Whole Foods today and got some B comlpex and magnesium. Plus I had taken a spoonful of some fresh made sorghum, which I thought was molasses, this morning and had some energy today. So I'll take those pills in the mornings.

And the pollen count here was out of the ball park. It's so think on the cars and everything.

An At Home Daughter said...

I have a thyroid condition too (Graves Disease), and am on Armour thyroid.
In case you don't already know, don't take the supplements within 4 hours of your thyroid med. It will interfere with your medication. Including molasses, because of the iron and such.

Kimberly