Ah hah moments.

 Sometimes I don't like farming.

 Sometimes I wonder what I am doing here.

Sometimes I don't really like my animals at all.

Sometimes I just want to sell everything, move to town, live a life of abandon. Go out and party every night like I used to. Have no responsibilities. Not even a dog.

This winter has not been fun for me. I won't lie and say that it's been a breeze. It has not! It's been really nasty, wet, muddy, snow, sleet, ice, freezing cold, rain all the time it seems.

I know I am not the only one who is going through this too. I read your blogs and Face Book posts. I know. We are all just plain ole sick and tired of Old Man Winter and all his crap, right?

I'll tell you what I've been really hating the most about farming for me. Feeding time. I just absolutely HATE it. I dread going out there in the mornings. They are the worst. It's when I feed the sheep, goats and alpacas their feed and bread. Have you ever been literally plowed down by 20 sheep, who weigh at least 150 pounds each? Have you ever tried to walk with feed buckets in each hand with 20 sheep on all sides, trying to get to that precious yummy feed? And then have you ever tried to bend over with those feed buckets, because you can't put them down, and clean out poop from all the feed bowls, while 20 ravenous, seemingly starving sheep, WANT THEIR FOOD RIGHT NOW?! Oh my gosh, I just could not do it one more time.

And the goats are just as bad. And I only have 4 of those. But ALL 4 are huge and can do just as much damage as 20 sheep. And OH SO greedy, those sheep and goats. They all think that the other goat's food, which came out of the SAME bucket, is better than what they have! So they go round and round and round. The sheep do the same thing. It's crazy!

So, yesterday, while I was having my 8,978th major melt down, I had an ah hah moment. It's amazing when I have these. I immediately felt so much better and I didn't even have it yet.

I went to the Co-op and bought an 8' feeding trough for the sheep. Now WHY have I not ever done this yet? WHY? My husband went to get it in the truck for me later. It was here when I got home. And he even put a rope on it so I could pull it around. I know. He's a pretty good husband.

So this is how it went this morning. It was rough getting to the trough, but by golly, I poured that feed in there and they all gathered round and started eating and it was QUIET! Alleluia, it worked!!!!!!! I still have some of those green feeders that hook over things that I put some feed in too, that are in the stalls. So they aren't all here in this picture. And Amarillo is still in her stall with her 2 ram lambs. But it was SO nice.

And I gathered up all the bigger black plastic feeder bowls, took them inside and washed them out for the goats to use. Because, goodness knows,a goat is finicky about stuff like that.

 
There are all 4 goats, each with their very own feed bowls. Happy. That didn't last but a few minutes. Til they all realized there was feed in ALL those bowls. So they had to play musical feed bowls. Silly goats.

Anyway, all this to say that I am feeling totally refreshed and ready for a new start. It's a beautiful sunny day, supposed to be in the 60's! The quads are all doing great. Although, I am bottle feeding the 2 girls and had brought them inside. I did take them out to see their brothers, Click and Clack, and their momma. Just to see what she'd do.

This is when I first put the girls down. She sniffed them.

The ran to the corner and called the boys. You can see the difference in size of the black lamb to the right. He is twice the size of the other 3.  So here is Amarillo with her 2 boys with the girls in the front.

I decided to leave the girls in there but wanted them protected. So put up this little fence in the corner for them. They can see the others, but Amarillo can't hurt them if she decides to freak out on them. The black ewe I named Cameron. She weighs 3 1/2 pounds. The little brown ewe is Campbelle. She weighs just 3 pounds. But they drink a small bottle about every 2-3 hours now. They are doing amazingly well for how I found them 2 days ago, all trampled and cold and wet. I am surprised they have all lived and are doing so good. So I'll leave the girls out here with them and still bottle feed them. I want them to be a part of the flock. But they are SO small, I want them to be a lot bigger before they actually go out in the pasture with the other sheep and lambs. One swift roll-over and that could be it for these little tiny guys.

 I named the boys Click (the smallest) and Clack, after the Tappit brothers that come on NPR on Saturdays and talk all things cars. My husband loves those guys.

So, this is where I am right now. Much better. And I won't sell ALL the animals, just some of them later. I do have too many sheep for this place. Just to figure out who is going to be hard. I have an idea of some that I know I could sell and be ok about.

I hope you all are having a good weather day too, where ever you all are!

Clay

This is really hard to write a post about the death of a little 2 day old ram lamb. I have a good friend right now who has been fighting cancer for a few years. And she is near the end. It's not something that's easy to deal with, whether it's a helpless little new born animal or a grown woman. Death just sucks. I can't think of any other way to put it. It just sucks. My best friend died almost 3 years ago. My step dad died the end of May last year. I just heard today that a friend I grew up with found out she has lung cancer. Now my friend Libby. It's all around us. Everyone has someone they love who has died. And we will too. It's just life. That's all.  And it's sad. And we miss these people so much.

I have never seen anyone die. I don't think I could deal with that. When my friend Kathy was in the hospital, dying, her whole family and most of her closest friends, were there with her. We were there in the ER room. We all walked with the guys who were taking her to a private room. There were a lot of people following that bed. But I could not stay there in that room, talking to all the other people there, and watch my best friend just die. But that's what people here in the South do. I had to leave. I'm not from the South. I just could not bear to be there when she left this world. And she did, about 3 the next morning. Her daughter called and I couldn't even answer the phone. I just knew she was gone. And I don't think I have missed anyone as much as I miss her.

So Clay and his brother were born Thursday morning. I wasn't there to help Darla clean them off. I like to be there to help them get their little faces cleaned off. So what happened I think is that he got fluids in his little lungs. And there could have been other things wrong with him as well. I will never know. He wouldn't have lived this long in the wild. Or if I hadn't done all I did for him.

I brought him in yesterday and gave him milk. Rubbed the bottom of his feet with alcohol to bring his high fever down. Nothing seemed to help. I was surprised this morning that he was still breathing. He was very weak. I had some things that needed to be done. When I got home, he was near the end. I could tell. I just picked him up and held him real close to my chest. I guess for probably an hour or so. I didn't know it could take so long. It was so sad. And hard to do. I cried. Not only for him, but for all the people I've lost. And he died. I took him outside to Darla so she could say goodbye to him. She knew he was gone.

I don't think he would have been a healthy lamb if he had made it. And so I am ok with this because I know he would have had a hard time. This is a working farm and things like this happen. I have never lost a baby lamb or goat kid. I have 8 healthy lambs out there right now with more to come. It could happen again. I don't know. I certainly hope it doesn't. It just really sucks.

More meds. And more tail docking.

I just went out to check on the new ram lambs. I put up a heat lamp in their stall. They were laying together under the heat with Darla near them.

They both sound bad. I came back in and got some Combi-Penn-48, some plain yogurt and some more Nutri-Drench. Gave them all that and they both went to nurse. Darla is not pushing either one of them away. She sniffs them and cleans them while they are at the udder. So I don't know. I'll see in the morning if any of this worked. They are both so darn sweet and pitiful. Why does this have to happen to such brand new life?

As I was leaving, I told all the ewes that have not had lambs yet, that they are NOT allowed to have any more lambs til it warms up again. No more lambs! It's just too cold!

A also gave Claire, Cadie, Clark and Charlotte their CDT shots about noon today. Then got the hubby to hold them this evening so I could band their little tails. They all did rather well. But I still hate this part of lambing. Not fun at all.